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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My husband's frenemy

My husband has a frenemy. I'll call him Rick (because what I want to call him is in poor taste). This fellow is funny and a good conversationalist, so people put up with him, but the fact of the matter is that Rick takes advantage of all his "friends". Let me give you a few examples:

1. During hurricane Katrina, he and his girlfriend evacuated together in the girlfriend's car - Rick doesn't own a car. His girlfriend had just accepted a job in New Orleans over one in another state; upon realization that her new job was history she called the other employer and accepted the job. Rick agreed to drive her to the airport and keep her car temporarily while they sorted out who was going to live where, etc (those were crazy times). However, this entire time Rick was planning on breaking up with her. He waited until they got to the airport though, just so he could keep her car since at that point what else could she do with it!
2. Then when he damaged the car through misuse, he called her to get her to pay for it.
3. He invites you to dinner, then tells you at the end he has no money.
4. He persuades hubby and another one of his friends - who did not know each other - to come with him on vacation. They made big plans to share a condo together; another of Rick's friends was acting as a sort of trip coordinator. Well, day before the trip Rick backs out because he's "broke" leaving three people who do not know each other to go on vacation together! Of course they all broke down and pooled money to pay for him to go - which is disgusting.
5. He pretends he thinks you are doing him a favor and thanks you profusely in front of people so you feel cowed into paying his tab/giving him a ride/doing legal work for him/buying him dinner/hosting him a party.
6. He promised to attend my bro in law's wedding and invited himself to the rehearsal dinner. After bro in law paid for Rick and his date, they never showed - to the rehearsal or wedding - and never called.
7. He is a GOSSIP. He gossips about everyone behind their backs! In fact, he constantly belittles my own husband to me, but he does it in a really clever way that makes it impossible to debate. For example, today I unfortunately ran into him while getting coffee. He asked how hubby was, then sighed, "when is David going to start making any money?" implying that my husband is a failure. Which he's NOT. He's a successful attorney and was recently promoted. But how do I respond? "He's doing great and we're rich" sounds totally pompous. Agreeing is totally disloyal. Instead I gave him a weird look (I hope it was a "why are you asking this" look) and said, "We're doing just fine thank you." Of course I know he just wanted to provoke me into telling him some juicy private details about our finances. What a jerk.

I have made it clear what I think of this despicable advantage taking friend. It's not like David doesn't know he's being taken advantage of - he's just too nice to say no. The most recent affront was Rick asking us to meet him for drinks last week then revealing that it was actually his "engagement party" (at a bar???) and that we were expected to host! As usual he acted confused and said he thought we knew. WHAT-EV.

What do I do with this slime bag? What do you do with your frenemies... or your spouses frenemies...or friends of your sig. oth. that you just don't like?

1 comment:

  1. You break up with him. Just like you would a boyfriend. I have done this before with a frenemy from high school. I just said to her, "Listen, I don't think we should hang out anymore. We don't really have much in common (a nice neutral kiss-off). Good luck with everything. Good bye." That's it. And she and I are still no longer friends. It was honestly a relief. But your husband has to be on board too or it isn't going to work.

    This guy sounds insidious. I'd "unfriend" him as soon as possible.