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Monday, August 8, 2011

Thoughts from my morning run.

I'm probably the only runner in the world with a high-heels injury. Too many date nights.

We have a Quaker meeting house in New Orleans (We do. It meets in the Methodist church on Carrollton.)? I wonder if anyone I know is a Quaker?

A mimosa date! How cute (A couple passed, one carrying OJ and the other carrying champagne).

Um, lady, while you're chatting on your cell phone your dog is eating another dog's poo and your kid just threw his paci out of the stroller. Here's your paci kid, this isn't a game. I'm not picking it up next time!

One of these days I'm going to die up on this levee, run over by a texting biker.

Ouch. Those spandex bike suits aren't for everyone.

This is very interesting. A dog is chasing a rabbit down the side of the levee, which spooked a horse who skittered into a goat's path and now a guy in his underwear is trying to catch the goat. I thought I lived in the city.

Ha! Those are Christmas boxers!

Gah! Train! I hear a train! Must speed up! Must sprint! Must beat train!

Oh, that was a tug boat, not a train.

What the heck are they doing in the river? Ah, dredging the Mississippi. That's interesting, and a little messy (It's very messy. I got a thin dirt film just from running by).

Hi mayor Landrieu.

Five miles in and I can wring about a cup of sweat out of my clothes .

You know how we call the fruit and color both orange? I wonder if that translates to other languages? As in, are the Dutch words for color and the fruit the same, too?

If that kid leaves that Gatorade by that tree I'm stealing it.

Hi James Carville.

No giraffes out at the zoo today (My run takes me past Audubon Zoo). Maybe it's too hot. Or maybe they're off necking. Tee hee!

I'm not going to stop to cross Magazine Street. I have a crosswalk and I'm not afraid to use it!

Eh, maybe I am afraid to use it. Why is there an 18-wheeler on Magazine Street anyway?

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Your dogs do NOT want to be friends. They just want to fight or mate. Stop trying to introduce them mid-walk.

Oh gosh lady, please put your lovely hair in a ponytail, I'm hot just looking at it all sticking to your neck.

Will that mom notice if I snitch her kid's Cheerios out of the stroller as I pass? 

Hi guy from church who never recognizes me outside of the pew (and whose name I don't know).

Shoes are saturated. This should make my closet smell lovely later.

I wonder if the milk is too far gone to use in pancakes? 

Oh, heavens! A herd of bikers beat me to the water fountain! What shall I do! I think I will honestly die if I have to wait two more seconds for water!

Ah! Help! Now they're all taking turns filling their water bottles! Nooooooo!

I guess I'll wring out my clothes again while I wait. That should scare 'em. Must be at least another cup (I think it worked).

Why is it that "natural" fluorescent bulbs always look the least natural?

Hi Arnie Fielkow.

Didn't I just pass that lady three minutes ago? Or is it just that everyone wears the same race T-shirts?

Please, no traffic on St. Charles, if I have to stop to cross the street I won't want to run again.

Yay! Last block! Almost home! I might make it home before heat stroke sets in!

CRAP, where is the house key?! Oh yeah, in my key pocket, duh. 

Should I strip on the porch and wring my clothes out one more time? Nah, that's not nice to the neighbors....


  1. Love it! and love all of the people that you see!

  2. Ha ha ha ha.... this is just awesome.

    Mine would be like...

    Huff huff huff
    I can't do this
    Shut up... yes you can
    I can't...
    five more seconds...
    oh gosh, was that (anyone I know)?

    But... I'm fighting to get my running mojo back.
    Entertaining. :)

  3. There is no way I could remember that much stuff from one run. I usually just put my thoughts on repeat "I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying"

  4. I used to love running past the giraffes! And all the smelly crayfish carcasses at the fly. Why doesn't anyone use trash cans?

    Also, I tried leaving my (smelly, wet, nasty) shoes outside, but the humidity just made them smell WORSE than before if that is possible.

  5. Wow! Three local "celebs" all in one run!

  6. hilarious!! loved this. :)

  7. BAHAHAHA. I laughed out loud at several of these. This is also an awesome idea, I think I might need to steal this post idea soon!

    Texting bikers scare the crap out of me. Like, really!?

  8. You are hilarious, you ran into the mayor and James Carville on the same run? That would be awesome!