I'm so cheap that I opened 14 leftover ketchup packets this morning to make my barbecue sauce, so I wouldn't have to buy ketchup (which costs $1.79).
I'm so cheap that I bought the wrong-size exercise capris because mediums were on clearance for $4.99, but smalls were $6.99. I saved $2 and altered the waist band so they'll stay up.
I'm so cheap that when I realized I forgot my water bottle yesterday I drank water out of a large Rx vial all day instead of buying a bottle of water. Why would I pay for water? Isn't water supposed to be free?
I'm so cheap that I don't just save ribbons and bows, I save wrapping paper. If you ever give me a gift, go easy on the tape please.
I'm so cheap that I'll freeze to death rather than turn on the floor furnace. Proof: I'm doing it right now. It's taken me an hour to type this far because my fingers are frozen.
I'm so cheap that I save my junk mail envelopes for writing notes and making shopping lists.
I'm so cheap I water down my salad dressing. It's too strong anyway.
I'm so cheap that I bought a gross of clear tape when I was sixteen because a local office supply store was going out of business. I got 144 rolls of tape for $3.00, and I lugged dozens of tape dispensers around with me over seven moves. I still have a box under my bed.
I'm so cheap that if the last inch of milk spoils I make biscuits just so I won't have to waste it.
I'm so cheap that I will gladly be two years behind on all the movies, TV shows, and best seller books in order to get them free from the library.
I'm so cheap I have a jar of coffee leftovers in my fridge in case I need it for a recipe or iced coffee. I never throw the pot dregs away.
I'm so cheap I super glued my $3 sunglasses when the frame broke instead of buying a new pair.
I'm so cheap I only buy scallions in bunches instead of pre-bagged at the grocery store. The bunches are rubber-banded together so I score two free rubber bands.
I'm so cheap I actually still bake my own bread. In fact it's time to go punch down the dough.