Not me. Other pharmacist. Here's the deal: One of the other pharmacists is late every single day. She's usually 15 minutes late but recently it has stretched to 30 minutes. It's starting to be a problem because on days when we overlap I really need back-up by the time her shift rolls around. I mean, I've got shots to give, patients to counsel, drug-heads to turn away. I'm busy! It's also kind of unfair to the company. She gets paid for 40 hours of work, but she works 38.
I've been considering how to handle this and came up with a few approaches:
1. The tattle tale approach: I discuss this with her manager, and deal with her accusing eyes and barely contained anger for the eternity of our working relationship.
2. The passive-aggressive approach: Every time she's late I scatter my lunch crumbs across her keyboard, in proportion to her lateness. Once she hits the half hour mark I start leaving whole pepperonis and blobs of salad dressing.
3. The revenge approach: The later she comes in, the later I come in! As she responds, our shifts get shorter and shorter, until we only work for minutes a day, practically revolving around each other as we rush in and out of the door.
4. The self-incrimination approach: Every time she walks in the door ask her, "What time is it? My watch broke/phone is at home/cataracts are preventing me from reading the wall clock." Allow a pregnant pause to follow her admission of, "It's ten thirty."
5. The aggressive approach: Put my jerk hat on and bellow, "WHY ARE YOU LATE AGAIN?!"
6. The dishonest approach: Tell her even salaries employees must clock in now, and provide a special time clock that one of the genius brothers rigged up to *look* real. Hope it scares her.
7. The criminal approach: Hack the company paycheck site and dock her pay for time missed. Use cash to buy loads of frozen yogurt, just because it's fun.
8. The Pavlov's Dogs approach: Only wear deodorant on days she is on time.
9. The on-time-is-the-fun-time approach: Every time she shows up late be just licking donut crumbs of my fingers, then say, "Oh, the donut guy came by at ten. Sorry you missed him." (We don't actually have a local donut guy, but we do have a local pie man who brings his wares to local businesses. Isn't that cute? And fattening?)
10. The spineless approach: Do nothing, say nothing, and secretly feel affronted.
Hm, guess which one I'm choosing???