Wedding gifting

This summer two of my childhood friends married and I was unfortunately unable to attend either wedding. The first was actually a private, family wedding anyway, and I am going to see this friend in October anyway when I'm in West Virginia for the Freedom's Run marathon. I plan on bringing a gift when I visit, and I need some time to think about this one because the couple isn't registered at any of the big name stores where I usually look (Bed, Bath, and Beyond; Target; Macy's; etc). The second wedding is in New England early next month, but because of my last-minute job changes I'm unable to swing that one. It falls on my weekend to work and another pharmacist is already on vacation that Thursday and Friday. I feel terrible about missing it because this girl and I were pretty close in junior high days.
So I compensated by spending a lot of money. I bought her a few items (since I missed her shower, too), including this guy:

Yeah, a mop. Nice, hm? This brings me to two questions:
1. If you can't make a wedding, do you automatically spend more on a gift? I always do. I find myself picking out high-ticket items if I bail because I feel like I'm insulting the bride and I somehow want to pay my way out of the insult!
2. Do you buy the yucky items? Like mops? Or trash cans? Or composters? I would rather buy the pretty sheets set or the set of goblets, but sometimes I feel bad for the neglected ugly items that sit all lonely on the registry. Of course they present wrapping challenges. I remember a friend who brought a bathroom trashcan to our wedding with a bow on top, too funny!
My husband and I disagree on both of these issues. He thinks ugly is in the eye of the beholder, and sees nothing wrong with buying the set of car cleaning supplies. He also can't understand spending more than $30 on a gift (so, basically, one utensil at Williams-Sonoma). To circumvent these little disagreements I just do all the gift shopping myself!