1. "Did you check your porch?" I get about three calls a week from a patient who says (panicked) that their medication never arrived via FedEx. Nine times out of ten - or greater - the package is on the porch where FedEx left it days ago, and our little patient never opened their front door. Do these people all hibernate? And since you knew it was arriving, did you not think to check the porch? You know, the same place they left it the last 18 times you had it shipped?
2. My NPI number. Here's a typical insurance phone call: Automated phone tree asks for NPI. First person to (finally) answer the phone asks for my NPI. They transfer me to second person, who immediately asks for NPI. And then - here is what kills me - they ask for it again, because they missed it. If you ASK me for a number, you had better be ready to type it in. Quit making me repeat myself! I still wonder what the point of keying the number in is, since it never does anything to speed your service.
3. "It's too early to fill." Short answer, addicts: I do not fill narcotics early, end of discussion.
4. "It's too early to fill." I JUST SAID, END OF DISCUSSION! QUIT HOUNDING ME! NO!
5. "Use the keypad." Patients verify their identity by typing in the last four digits of their phone number when checking out prescriptions, much like you would type a PIN in. Easily half my patients attempt to write their number in using the little pen rather than type it using the keys.
6. "I'm sorry, that's not available right now." A good 30 or 40 common drugs are backordered right now because drug (and active ingredient production) companies wised up to the concept of supply and demand. Drugs I need aren't readily available; prices for old, cheap generics have skyrocketed. Doxycycline that used to cost $12 for a bottle of 1000 is now over a thousand dollars.
7. "Yes, you were given a Tulane DEA number when you became a resident here." All my newbie interns vehemently insist that they don't have a DEA number. Two things: 1. Yes, you do. You all do. 2. If you don't, what makes you think you get to write controlled substance prescriptions? If you want to argue that you don't have a DEA number, have fun writing for ibuprofen.
8. "Sure, I'll hold." With the insurance. With doctors who decided to do something else while calling me. With patients who call and forget why they called. With family members of patients who called and don't know what medications the patient needs. With FedEx. With Medicare. With wholesalers. With my own company.
9. "It will say, 'Now ready' when your prescription is ready." I say this every time someone drops off an rx. The helpful TV screen outside the pharmacy pops their first name up as soon as they drop off. First it says "In progress", and then it switches to "Now ready" when it's done. Every single patient, no matter how many times they've been there, rushes in after 2.4 seconds to shout excitedly, "I saw my name up there!" And then I repeat...it will say 'now ready'... ad nauseum.
10. "I'm sorry, it has to be a legal state or federal ID." I cannot accept your photocopy of your phone bill as ID. I can't accept your bus pass. Your gambling punch card is impressive, but it's not ID. It's the law in this state, and I am not going to make an exception for you, your Percocet, and your student ID from Delgado 1998. WHY THE HECK DO YOU NOT HAVE AN ID ANYWAY?!
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Hahah...this is funny... I used to do workers compensation insurance and I have a lot of similar lines, mostly due to the fact that people want their good drugs early. We used to have people who would try to get the drugs early, and then would talk about how much pain they were in...they would say that they could not even WALK, or bend over, or lie down without their drugs.... they would really pull out all of the stops!
ReplyDeleteBetween you & a couple of other friends of mine that are pharmacists, I always find it fascinating to hear about what goes on behind the scenes. The pricing stuff to me is particularly bizarre. (Also, I think you're a lot more competent than my Walgreen's pharmacy....They send me emails saying, "Time to refill! Just hit reply to refill!" So I do, and then they send me another email that says, "Sorry, too early to refill.")
ReplyDeleteOh, that pharmacy email system is the worst. It never works. If the pharmacy is closed, it kicks the email back to you!
DeleteOMG and I just realized the other two pharmacists I know are a husband & wife who also live in New Orleans. Crazy.
DeleteI bet I know them! Pharmacy is a really small world!
DeleteYou must want to hit your head against the desk some days. Or better still, your customers heads.
ReplyDeleteMy cousin used to be a pharmacist; she would encounter these patients who...well, they would have 'dropped their bottle of cough syrup right outside their house and it just broke so can you give me another one?' Dodgy...
ReplyDeleteThat pricing stuff though. Bizarre.
This was interesting to read. I know nothing about what it's like to work in a pharmacy so it's always interesting when you talk about your job. Having to repeat things over and over would get old, though!
ReplyDeleteIf I ever want to scam a script in NOLA, I am NOT going to you!!!
ReplyDeleteNope, I'm the meanest, strictest, stingiest pharmacist around.
Deletelol this is great. I could write a book of these. You may have just inspired a blog post! haha
ReplyDeletehaha I'm sure our hospital pharmacists get tired of asking nurses if we've checked the patient specific bin/refrigerator/etc for meds we seem to be missing - and I always get a little satisfaction in always checking every spot before calling!
ReplyDeleteWhen I worked in hospital our phone tree actually said, "Press three for missing patient-specific medication doses" - and then the tape said, "Did you check the tube? If you have already checked, please hold." Some frustrated old pharmacist made that recording!
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