Let's catch up on some serious issues that cropped up in the past few months.
Issue number one was the sudden atheistic views of my little brother Joey. As you may recall, he made an about-face from conservative Christian to adamant atheist, and stopped speaking to the rest of the family in the process. I was pretty sure that I just needed to give him time to get over his college-freshmanitis before approaching him. I hoped to contact him again in a calm manner, making sure he knew my feelings weren't hurt and I wanted to "stay friends". Well, he actually beat me to this one: he called me out of the blue only a few weeks after the storm started brewing. Since then he simply hasn't mentioned the topic, and I haven't either. But I did hear from another family member that there was more to the story: Joey's employer was his pastor's son, and they had a big falling out over working conditions and favoritism. So the sudden bitterness towards Christians stemmed from a bad experience in which Christians acted like selfish idiots. In the past few months Joey has been slowly easing back into normal contact. Phew.
The other issue I have been facing is that my husband has a friend who is a big jerk. I took your advice and unfriended him. However, my husband is not playing along! In fact he is flying to his out of town wedding! Of course I think this wedding is a big sham: his fiancee happens to need a green card, and the wedding invitation arrived in the form of a facebook invite (I am absolutely telling the truth). Basically this is a big ploy for gifts - as evidenced by the Vera Wang and Kate Spade china the couple registered for (I bought them a nice gift off there registry, but they don't need to know that it was on sale the week I bought it AND I had a 15% off coupon). The funniest thing is that the groom sent out an email notifying guests that the time of the ceremony had changed by an hour...a week before the wedding. Doesn't this just sound like we are all being scammed???
Showing posts with label frenemy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frenemy. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Frenemy update!
I was recently griping about my husband's no-good frenemy and Nicole had some good advice. Her recommendation is a friend break-up, and this is definitely a step we need to take.
But of course the plot thickens! Just when I was succeeding in persuading hubby to lose this loser, things got more complicated. Now we basically have two choices when it comes to dealing with this situation:
1. The original plan was to do the "slow" breakup: just distance ourselves; be unavailable; don't answer the phone; take a long time to respond to emails, etc. This would be kind of easy because Frenemy lives out of state now.
2. The complication that leads us to choice #2 is that a hint was dropped that hubby is expected to be part of the wedding party of frenemy's impending nuptials (because of Frenemy's behavior, he has few friends who are not estranged, so hubby is an obvious choice). This makes a great excuse for a more abrupt way to cut ties. If hubby turns this request down, it could lead into a "I don't think we are such close friends" kind of comment.
The pros and cons? Choice 1 is easier, nicer, lazier. But this guy is sneaky and pretends not to understand when you tell him no, so it might not work. Choice number 2 seems cruel, but it may be the only way to permanently escape AND avoid attending an overseas wedding that will turn into us paying for the entire event (which is exactly what would happen).
Sooo...how shall we handle this? Or are their better ways to go about the breakup???
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
My husband's frenemy
My husband has a frenemy. I'll call him Rick (because what I want to call him is in poor taste). This fellow is funny and a good conversationalist, so people put up with him, but the fact of the matter is that Rick takes advantage of all his "friends". Let me give you a few examples:
1. During hurricane Katrina, he and his girlfriend evacuated together in the girlfriend's car - Rick doesn't own a car. His girlfriend had just accepted a job in New Orleans over one in another state; upon realization that her new job was history she called the other employer and accepted the job. Rick agreed to drive her to the airport and keep her car temporarily while they sorted out who was going to live where, etc (those were crazy times). However, this entire time Rick was planning on breaking up with her. He waited until they got to the airport though, just so he could keep her car since at that point what else could she do with it!
2. Then when he damaged the car through misuse, he called her to get her to pay for it.
3. He invites you to dinner, then tells you at the end he has no money.
4. He persuades hubby and another one of his friends - who did not know each other - to come with him on vacation. They made big plans to share a condo together; another of Rick's friends was acting as a sort of trip coordinator. Well, day before the trip Rick backs out because he's "broke" leaving three people who do not know each other to go on vacation together! Of course they all broke down and pooled money to pay for him to go - which is disgusting.
5. He pretends he thinks you are doing him a favor and thanks you profusely in front of people so you feel cowed into paying his tab/giving him a ride/doing legal work for him/buying him dinner/hosting him a party.
6. He promised to attend my bro in law's wedding and invited himself to the rehearsal dinner. After bro in law paid for Rick and his date, they never showed - to the rehearsal or wedding - and never called.
7. He is a GOSSIP. He gossips about everyone behind their backs! In fact, he constantly belittles my own husband to me, but he does it in a really clever way that makes it impossible to debate. For example, today I unfortunately ran into him while getting coffee. He asked how hubby was, then sighed, "when is David going to start making any money?" implying that my husband is a failure. Which he's NOT. He's a successful attorney and was recently promoted. But how do I respond? "He's doing great and we're rich" sounds totally pompous. Agreeing is totally disloyal. Instead I gave him a weird look (I hope it was a "why are you asking this" look) and said, "We're doing just fine thank you." Of course I know he just wanted to provoke me into telling him some juicy private details about our finances. What a jerk.
I have made it clear what I think of this despicable advantage taking friend. It's not like David doesn't know he's being taken advantage of - he's just too nice to say no. The most recent affront was Rick asking us to meet him for drinks last week then revealing that it was actually his "engagement party" (at a bar???) and that we were expected to host! As usual he acted confused and said he thought we knew. WHAT-EV.
What do I do with this slime bag? What do you do with your frenemies... or your spouses frenemies...or friends of your sig. oth. that you just don't like?
1. During hurricane Katrina, he and his girlfriend evacuated together in the girlfriend's car - Rick doesn't own a car. His girlfriend had just accepted a job in New Orleans over one in another state; upon realization that her new job was history she called the other employer and accepted the job. Rick agreed to drive her to the airport and keep her car temporarily while they sorted out who was going to live where, etc (those were crazy times). However, this entire time Rick was planning on breaking up with her. He waited until they got to the airport though, just so he could keep her car since at that point what else could she do with it!
2. Then when he damaged the car through misuse, he called her to get her to pay for it.
3. He invites you to dinner, then tells you at the end he has no money.
4. He persuades hubby and another one of his friends - who did not know each other - to come with him on vacation. They made big plans to share a condo together; another of Rick's friends was acting as a sort of trip coordinator. Well, day before the trip Rick backs out because he's "broke" leaving three people who do not know each other to go on vacation together! Of course they all broke down and pooled money to pay for him to go - which is disgusting.
5. He pretends he thinks you are doing him a favor and thanks you profusely in front of people so you feel cowed into paying his tab/giving him a ride/doing legal work for him/buying him dinner/hosting him a party.
6. He promised to attend my bro in law's wedding and invited himself to the rehearsal dinner. After bro in law paid for Rick and his date, they never showed - to the rehearsal or wedding - and never called.
7. He is a GOSSIP. He gossips about everyone behind their backs! In fact, he constantly belittles my own husband to me, but he does it in a really clever way that makes it impossible to debate. For example, today I unfortunately ran into him while getting coffee. He asked how hubby was, then sighed, "when is David going to start making any money?" implying that my husband is a failure. Which he's NOT. He's a successful attorney and was recently promoted. But how do I respond? "He's doing great and we're rich" sounds totally pompous. Agreeing is totally disloyal. Instead I gave him a weird look (I hope it was a "why are you asking this" look) and said, "We're doing just fine thank you." Of course I know he just wanted to provoke me into telling him some juicy private details about our finances. What a jerk.
I have made it clear what I think of this despicable advantage taking friend. It's not like David doesn't know he's being taken advantage of - he's just too nice to say no. The most recent affront was Rick asking us to meet him for drinks last week then revealing that it was actually his "engagement party" (at a bar???) and that we were expected to host! As usual he acted confused and said he thought we knew. WHAT-EV.
What do I do with this slime bag? What do you do with your frenemies... or your spouses frenemies...or friends of your sig. oth. that you just don't like?
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