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Saturday, May 13, 2017

Nothing good to say

Sometimes bloggers or Facebook friends will annoy me with vague posts, ones that seem crafted to garner attention, ones that nonspecifically beg prayers or offer universal threats. I'm about to run the risk of becoming one of those people. But hopefully I can write a post that is honest, yet not exploiting others in my life.
I haven't posted much lately because I haven't had anything good to say. I've been facing a lot of challenges, and in addition to being very busy, I haven't had the heart to write anything. Some of the stressors I can tell you all about:

  • Another vice president visit to my store (Two in three years! Why?!)
  • A promotion for one of my pharmacists - that's a good thing, but she'll be leaving, and that's a lot of upheaval. Plus we'll miss her, and it will entail more and more training.
  • Firing an employee
  • Working short a technician during a very busy period
  • Attempting to replace an employee.
  • Negotiating with both my own company and my leaseholders to expand my site
  • Being denied time off: I have only had a single day off all year, and that was when we closed for Mardi Gras.
  • Leading our community group solo while David attends meetings those nights
  • Hosting a weekly Bible study at 7 am Fridays
  • Starting another MBA class and figuring all of that out
  • The misery of an all-over rash and allergy (which is still hanging around)
  • Down one car for repairs, with the other flashing a check engine light
Everyday life stressors, plus some. It happens. I can deal with it. But it's all been magnified because I am very worried about a loved one (and here is where it gets vague).  A few weeks ago, a loved one texted me some results from a routine medical visit, and it was very concerning. And while it looks very much to me like cancer, and this person had a rushed oncology appointment right away, we don't have answers yet. We're waiting for additional labs to come back, and honestly, the waiting is worse than just getting bad news. I have already resigned myself to the worst possible diagnosis, and I'm vacillating between grieving and hoping that I'm over-reacting. And I might be. There are multiple benign explanations for the questionable results, and any one of them is a very reasonable answer. 
So for now, I'm just kind of anxious and sad and concerned and hopeful, all at once. Thanks for dealing with my vague-post and my general apathy for the last few weeks!


  1. I totally get it with people "vague-booking", but really, if it's a health issue that's totally okay. Nothing says Facebook has to be a completely open book.

    I hope the stresses at work will simmer down soon, the rash will go away, and the allergy is... figured out. I saw your insta posts and hate that you're dealing with a new allergy as an adult. Craziness.

  2. I don't like the vague posts either. It's worse to tell people to pray for them without telling why or to say "I can't tell you what's going on, but I'm going through a tough time." I would rather they just say what is going on or not say anything at all!

    I'm sorry to hear that you are dealing with so much right now. That is terrible that you have only had 1 day off this year and that your request for time off has been denied. It sounds like work is crazy busy for you right now but your company should recognize that their hard working employees deserve time off to maintain their sanity - especially since you have such a demanding go go go go go kind of job.

    I'm sorry to hear about the news about your loved one. The not knowing part is by far the worst. I'd rather know bad news and deal with the consequences versus be in limbo/stressing about what the news will be.

  3. Tough stuff. It's good that blogging can be an outlet, even if you don't want to share all the details, sending you thoughts of strength and calm. This too shall pass, hopefully with positive results for all.

  4. Thinking of you and your loved one and sending positive thoughts down the Mississippi. Perhaps the rash is lingering because of the additional stress? There's also something to be said for asking for help from those around you -- especially the Bible study! Helping others in need is Bible 101 ;) -- Perhaps someone in the bible study or community group can lead for a week or two while you take some needed time to sleep-in or take a candle-lit oatmeal bath (that's a rash thing, right?)

  5. I am sorry you are dealing with all of this - I'll send you vague well-wishes in response? :)

    Everything you've listed here sounds incredibly testing - and the combination must suck. Ain't it amazing how sometimes life throws all the balls at you at once?

  6. It's hard to tread that line between being positive and being authentic. That's a lot of reasons to be stressed out. I really hope the benign explanations are the ones that end up being the reality, and I hope that life eases up on you a hair.

  7. I'm sorry that you are going through a tough patch. I hope you are able to find some balance and peace.