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Monday, February 24, 2014

Olympic thoughts

The Olympics are finally over, and I can have my life back. Wait, no I can't, Walgreens still has it. Darn.

Here are my rambling post-Olympic thoughts:

- We need to develop some more USA talent. Especially at cross-country. Aren't there any young Minnesotans burning to medal for there country in skiing?
- The Olympics are the only time I watch TV at broadcast times. I decided that commercials are little letters from Satan. They're boring, they aim for the lowest common denominator, the humor is pathetic, and I'm pretty sure there are only six commercials in the whole world and they're just on constant repeat. 
- Whenever our speedskaters bend over, they look like they have baboon butts. 
- Figure skating is no longer beautiful or interesting. The scoring has forced programs into a cookie-cutter of combinations and jumps, and has massively increased falls and errors. This is especially true for the men, who feel obligated to attempt quads when a triple could be just as beautiful and more easily landed. 
- Viktor Ahn, I don't understand you at all. 
- I adored Kostner's figure skating. She is so graceful and talented! And yeah, Sotnikova didn't earn gold. She just didn't. Still a great skate, though. That's what happens when results are judged, and why a timed sporting event is always more satisfying to watch.
- Short track: Edge of my seat! 
- Every skier in every event wears tight spadexy stuff, except moguls skiers, who wear tents. Why?
- Are you sure Bob Costas didn't have a viral eye infection? That just took too long to heal for regular pink eye. I mean, assuming he had medical attention early.
- Russia still gives me the creeps. 
- The designers of the following uniforms need to be lined up and shot:
The team Christmas sweater uniforms, the Desert-Storm-meets-garbage-collector snow boarder outfits, and OF COURSE the speedskater suits (it couldn't be that we're old and not as good now, could it?!).


  1. I'll never forget your gold medal winning gymnastics program from the summer of 2012. Maybe YOU should try out for the XC ski team in 2018...doing all of your training on a NordicTrak thing! Might be just the thing to help stay injury-free :)

    1. I love XC skiing - or, I lovED it back when we lived in MI.

  2. I'm so sorry that the Olympics are over. Australia never does particularly well at them but nothing can beat the spectacle of a race where the loser ends up winning because the three people in front of him fell over just before the finish line.

  3. I wish there was more coverage of the Winter Olympics here - the newspaper sports pages are like one page Olympics, three pages of soccer :P I do pay attention to biathlon though - my Minnesotan sister-in-law was an Olympic biathlete! (And yes, I think you ought to try out for cross-country...)
    I had to Google some of the team uniforms. The speedskater ones are...unfortunate.

    1. That's awesome! Are you going to do a blog interview with an Olympian?!

    2. Ooh, there's a thought. She's also the world's busiest Olympian, as she's midway through a med-peds residency and has a 2yo kid, so a mere blog interview might have to wait a while!

  4. Curling is not a sport, it's slippery shuffle board. One of the "competitors" had man-boobs. I signed up to watch winter athletes not mammary man.

    Is the only point of male figure skating to "out-fabulous" each other? I mean I love Johnny Weir as much as the next guy, but I've got my limit on eye-liner.

    Team USA Hockey absolutely quit in the bronze medal game.

    Putin fascinates me and I'm kinda disappointed he kept his shirt on for all the festivities. I wanna laugh at his antics ... but then I remember that he is most likely responsible for several political murders, namely any journalist in his country who speaks out against him. Plus his country sucks at producing snow!

    1. And let's just say it. Tara Lipinsky is not attractive ever, no matter what she's wearing.

  5. The Olympics so made me want to take up cross country skiing! I love watching the snowboarders, but I'm way too chicken for their stuff.

    Putin reminds me of an evil movie cyborg.

  6. lol! Hilarious! I love the Olympics and watched all the prime time coverage, your post above is dead on. Kostner was indeed amazing on the ice, great skater. They might have to weight artistic impression as a higher % of the score to get people to stop trying to fit as many jumps in the program as possible. I do think Sotnikova earned the gold with her jumps though, they were simply more difficult than anyone else's. Though Yuna and Kostner were more graceful. Glad to hear someone else talk about how ugly the US's opening ceremony outfits were though lol.