I was recently griping about my husband's no-good frenemy and Nicole had some good advice. Her recommendation is a friend break-up, and this is definitely a step we need to take.
But of course the plot thickens! Just when I was succeeding in persuading hubby to lose this loser, things got more complicated. Now we basically have two choices when it comes to dealing with this situation:
1. The original plan was to do the "slow" breakup: just distance ourselves; be unavailable; don't answer the phone; take a long time to respond to emails, etc. This would be kind of easy because Frenemy lives out of state now.
2. The complication that leads us to choice #2 is that a hint was dropped that hubby is expected to be part of the wedding party of frenemy's impending nuptials (because of Frenemy's behavior, he has few friends who are not estranged, so hubby is an obvious choice). This makes a great excuse for a more abrupt way to cut ties. If hubby turns this request down, it could lead into a "I don't think we are such close friends" kind of comment.
The pros and cons? Choice 1 is easier, nicer, lazier. But this guy is sneaky and pretends not to understand when you tell him no, so it might not work. Choice number 2 seems cruel, but it may be the only way to permanently escape AND avoid attending an overseas wedding that will turn into us paying for the entire event (which is exactly what would happen).
Sooo...how shall we handle this? Or are their better ways to go about the breakup???
Posts
If it were me, I would take choice number two. I know it's hard, but it is probably a lot less cruel than you'd think. Stretching it out and letting the friendship wither and die will put you, your husband, and the Frenemy through a lot more turmoil than you realize, I think. You do not want to end up at this guy's wedding, so you should really nip it in the bud.
ReplyDeleteJust my opinion. Hope it helps!
Can't you just do it for me???
ReplyDelete;-) You're right, we'll be hosting a wedding in the bahamas next if we don't get out now. Yesterday he wanted to know what we're buying them for their wedding present because he was shopping this weekend and didn't want to duplicate gifts...so could we please comit to a gift now??? Of course they have not set a date yet so I haven't even thought about gifts yet!
Oh my gosh. Please break up with him NOW! This guy is incredible! Where does he get off?!
ReplyDelete(I would totally do it for you if I could, but trust me ... it will feel so cathartic and wonderfully relieving when it's done and over with.)