Foody Friday: freakin' nasty King Cake

Carnival is here, and king cakes are begging to be eaten!
The first day of carnival is Twelfth Night, or Epiphany, or Armenian Christmas (as we celebrate in our house). Anyway, it's January 6th, and that particular morning I really wanted some king cake!
So much so that after my nine mile run I grabbed my credit card and made a cycle to THREE bakeries in our neighborhood (ugh, the constant temptation) in search for the first Kind Cake of the season.
No one had any. I was distraught.

In case you don't know what king cake is, it is a rather repulsive yeast coffee cake in a ring, decorated in the Mardi Gras colors of purple, green, and gold. There is a plastic baby hidden in the cake, and whoever gets the baby in their slice has to buy the next cake. It creates a purposeful vicious cycle of cake consumptions on Friday in the workplace. Kiss your resolutions good-bye, New Orleanians!

I refused to give up on my king cake, so I bought one from Robert's Supermarket on the way home. Robert's has the best French bread in town, so their cakes should be good, right? So wrong! The cake was undercooked and filled with gobs of oozing red stuff (some cakes are filled, but that usually just means an innocuous strip of strawberry jam, not freaking jelly donut style!). It was overpoweringly sweet and their was about a cup of colored sugar on top.

David got the baby. And if this isn't the grossest picture you've ever seen you must be reading a med school text book. 

I ate it anyway. I went into a sugar coma. I am still in said coma. I am typing this in a coma.
Louisiana people: You know you have a favorite. Who makes the best King Cake?
I actually like the ones they sell at Pj's!