I wear tacky shoes

I'm getting old. You want to know how I can tell?*  I bought a pair of incredibly tacky shoes - in full knowledge of their tackiness - simply because they are comfortable. And that, my friends, is a true sign of aging.

I gave you a break from my linoleum to show off my hardwood floors

These are silver flip flops. And by silver I mean mirror-shiny, perhaps to trick you into thinking that they are genuine sterling. This blinding shininess is topped with a truly superfluous rhinestone at the thong. Oh, and the soles have embossed leopard pattern on them.
But they have awesomely comfy straps.
*Besides the wrinkles and the affinity for coupons, I mean.