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Thursday, December 2, 2010

I'm so cheap.

I'm so cheap that I opened 14 leftover ketchup packets this morning to make my barbecue sauce, so I wouldn't have to buy ketchup (which costs $1.79).
I'm so cheap that I bought the wrong-size exercise capris because mediums were on clearance for $4.99, but smalls were $6.99. I saved $2 and altered the waist band so they'll stay up.
I'm so cheap that when I realized I forgot my water bottle yesterday I drank water out of a large Rx vial all day instead of buying a bottle of water. Why would I pay for water? Isn't water supposed to be free?
I'm so cheap that I don't just save ribbons and bows, I save wrapping paper. If you ever give me a gift, go easy on the tape please.
I'm so cheap that I'll freeze to death rather than turn on the floor furnace. Proof: I'm doing it right now. It's taken me an hour to type this far because my fingers are frozen.
I'm so cheap that I save my junk mail envelopes for writing notes and making shopping lists.
I'm so cheap I water down my salad dressing. It's too strong anyway.
I'm so cheap that I bought a gross of clear tape when I was sixteen because a local office supply store was going out of business. I got 144 rolls of tape for $3.00, and I lugged dozens of tape dispensers around with me over seven moves. I still have a box under my bed.
I'm so cheap that if the last inch of milk spoils I make biscuits just so I won't have to waste it. 
I'm so cheap that I will gladly be two years behind on all the movies, TV shows, and best seller books in order to get them free from the library.
I'm so cheap I have a jar of coffee leftovers in my fridge in case I need it for a recipe or iced coffee. I never throw the pot dregs away.
I'm so cheap I super glued my $3 sunglasses when the frame broke instead of buying a new pair.
I'm so cheap I only buy scallions in bunches instead of pre-bagged at the grocery store. The bunches are rubber-banded together so I score two free rubber bands.
I'm so cheap I actually still bake my own bread. In fact it's time to go punch down the dough.

14 comments:

  1. How cheap are you?

    Actually I do some of these same things, only I call it recycling rather than cheap.

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  2. And that is precisely why you have no student loan debt! I could stand to be a bit more frugal myself and should learn a thing or 2 from you!!!

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  3. Girl you are hilarious!! I LOVED this post. I pretty much do all of the aboved listed things! Super glue is my best friend and I am totally going to start watering down my dressings ha!

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  4. Which is why you probably have more savings and less debt than half of your readers put together. Lol.

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  5. I knew I was going to love this post from the first two (have done the same) and related to several others. I don't save the wrapping paper but one of my grandothers did - must be where I got these traits!

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  6. You would have loved my grandparents (on both sides).
    My dad's mom used to save and clean milk jugs- then when she made orange juice from concentrate, she'd use an old milk jug to hold the juice. Why buy a pitcher? She also saved tin pie plates and we often ate off of them. They're great for kids b/c they can't break! Kids also drank out of jelly jars at her house. Oh and she washed out and reused ziplock bags and insisted that my mom do the same thing!
    My mom's dad, was so cheap he got special shower heads so you could stop the flow of water in the shower. The rule at his house was, you get wet, then you turn the water off before soap up and put shampoo in your hair, then you can turn it back on to rinse. He also recycled soda cans- he'd crush them with a brick so he could fit as many as possible in a giant barrel he kept in his shop. I think he'd only get about $10 from a full barrel but that didn't stop him! He was a wrapping paper saver too!

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  7. I am seriously LOL'ing right now! This is too funny :)

    Hey, whatever works right?

    We originally started baking our own bread to save money but now we mostly do it because it tastes SO MUCH BETTER! Just made two loaves and bunch of muffins last night :)

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  8. Shelly - gracious - I also save pie plates, and I reuse my ziplocs and foil! And I don't have a special shower head, but I DO turn the water off while I lather. But that's really so the tiny old pipes can have a chance to drain.

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  9. OMGosh I love this.

    How awesome.

    I'm totally quilty of the packet thing though. Although mine is soy sauce. ;)

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  10. I wish I could do those things but I'm too lazy!

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  11. i can't judge. i do the wendy's and taco bell packets. ;-)

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  12. Cheap or smart! Wow. You must have millions in the bank. I need to start doing some of these things.

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  13. Hahaha. This is hilarious! I do so many of these kinds of things. This is called "frugal" though. At least I keep telling myself that.

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  14. Love it! I got some great ideas from this.

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